Rollercoaster of Love

Keith's salute to inefficiency only contributes to my increasingly vexed feelings about the modern university (and my place in it). I cannot tell whether a university is a place where good intentions have been severely compromised by encroaching Taylorist standards of "productivity" or whether it is a place where "real world" standards have not encroached enough. (The third possibility is, of course, that a substantial percent of human beings anywhere are narrow-minded bastards.) Anyhow, my position at the U is an invented one--no home campus, no single research interest, unusual authority in some matters while all but invisible in others. I am the Ariel of this strange island, slipping unnoticed into affairs of (wo)men who may be kings and may be beasts. I am currently going through the usual review process--formal committee members are watching me teach, scouring my cv, and reading my publication offerings--so I may be a bit more sensitive than usual. But because of my unusual position, I spend most days of most weeks prying into others' courses and peering through the holes of our administrative structures. And, oh!, what I have begun to see. A blog is not the best place to get into details, but I will say that I am experiencing the thrill and disappointment of political maneuvering that I have not felt since Valmont betrayed me just as I was about to conquer the world. My training--an idealistic, bookish college mixed with a ruthless but no less idealistic grad school--leaves me wearing Mambrino's helmet, arming myself for contests I cannot win. But, still, I admit to enjoying the visits, emails, and conversations with those who walk with me in the naïve hope that we're actually helping people.

I want to say more. Stay tuned. But I have to get back to preparing the seminar I'm giving tomorrow morning for high school teachers. It's called "The Surprising Truth about University Writing." Who knew that my adult life would be so glamorous?

Blognote: Stupid blog software dumped this post after I had finished it, so I rewrote as best I could (very quickly). Beware the "Preview" function. Save first. (Sounds obvious now.)